Mommy's "Reflection" Time...

Here is my attempt at "reflecting" on being pregnant, our time at home so far, people not understanding or liking our parenting decisions (already!), and me just blowing off some steam...

It doesn't seem possible that we have already had Aidyn 24 days! He will be 4wks in just 4 days! I can remember (not that it was so long ago, ha) thinking, "Will this child ever decide he's ready?!?" I just knew I was going to be pregnant forever! haha

Not to sound ungrateful or mean...but you know how some poeple say, "Oh, I just LOVED being pregnant and can't wait to be pregnant again!" Well, sorry, not me. I thought the whole experience was neat and totally indescribable! I have told many people that I wish for just one day (towards the end) when Aidyn was so active, that Ben could have experienced the sensations and feelings of being pregnant. He always said, "I can feel him and see him when he moves"...but we all know, that isn't the same. The feeling is amazing and kinda weird all at the same time. :) I am SO GRATEFUL for Aidyn and for the entire experience, however, it is not something I am just dying to turn around and do again. Or atleast no time soon...we hope. ;)

Ben was telling me, and our friends John and Lori, that someone at school the other day asked when we were going to have our next one. Keep in mind Aidyn is only 4wks old. Ben said he told them, "Well, I won't say no time soon...but I will say that we HOPE no time soon!"

Our friends John and Lori didn't plan their first, nor the second that was born 13 months later. We (as much as we are totally in love with Aidyn now) didn't plan him either. So, needless to say we all got a kick out of his answer.

As we have gotten more into a routine and "groove" with the whole parenting thing, we have answered many questions that people ask about Aidyn and our family. There are times I feel obligated to explain my answers or decisions, which the more I think about it, I shouldn't feel obligated. Ben and I have read several books on parenting, new babies, feeding/sleeping theories, etc. Granted they are just books - but the information all makes sense and for the time being is working great! I know there will be people that don't always understand or agree with our decisions, I just wish they wouldn't get mad when we stand up for them.

Ben and I love Aidyn with 200% of our hearts and would do anything for him...anything! Including:
*getting up every 2hrs to feed him
*pump the breasts every 3hrs, haha - sorry I couldn't resist
*change his dirty diapers
*inquire with each other about the consistency of his diapers - that's when you know you've reached a whole new level in your life, haha
*get spit up on, pooped on, or peed on...and it doesn't even phase you
...and much more.

We love him, cuddle him, nap with him on the couch, play with him, sing, and talk to him. But we don't hold him or carry him around ALL THE TIME and some people act as though this is an issue. I don't think so. We don't want him to get used to being held or carried around because then he won't be content when he isn't in the future. We also don't let him sleep in our bed and at night we not only close his door, we close our door too. This isn't because we don't care. But...our room is right next door to his. If the wall wasn't there, Ben could literally take 4 steps away from the bed and be at his crib. So with the close proximity, and our baby monitor, we literally hear every little thing if the doors are open. Even with them closed, we can hear him breathing and hiccuping with the monitor. Closing the doors is just our small attempt at trying to get some sleep without hearing every little grunt and sneeze.

In the book, BabyWise, it talks about establishing a sleep routine. They (the authors) suggest this routine - Sleep, Feed, Awake. For instance, the baby should sleep until his next feeding time. Then after you change him, feed him, and in our case - usually change him again, he then should stay awake for 10-30min or so depending on the age. After being awake for the feeding and "wake time" (usually up to an hr total)...he should sleep, or nap, again until his next feeding. If you let him go right back to sleep after eating and not stay awake for a few minutes, he will wake up sooner than his next feeding and want to eat sooner than needed. This is true; we've seen it happen.

In saying this, we've had problems with people (family and friends) that come over or see us out with Aidyn and get their feelings hurt because we won't let them touch him, pick him up, or wake him up...just so they can see him or see him awake. I hate to sound rude, but I'm not going to mess up his routine, and ours, just to make someone else happy. Someone that won't be at home when he wakes up early unhappy or fussy because he didn't get the sleep he needed. I can promise people that in his lifetime (and even theirs) they will eventually get to "see him" and see him awake. And then this same thing applies with people not LETTING him go to sleep...people have shown up to visit, which is totally fine - we love the company, but when he starts falling asleep as he should, they start saying, "No, don't go to sleep! You stay awake and look at me" and they start playing with him, picking it at him, and try forcing him to stay awake. I hate to say it...but he isn't even a month old! He isn't supposed to stay awake all day! I don't usually let this go on long before saying, "It's time for him to go to sleep. He really shouldn't be awake right now...it's time for his nap." And sometimes people seem to get pissed off or get their feelings hurt. I wish they would realize it IS NOT PERSONAL...it's about keeping HIS routine.

We have discussed our decisions with the dr (not just read a book and said OK). There are reasons behind our decisions and THEY WORK, so I just wish people would say ok and not get mad. We don't make these decisions to purposefully hurt someone's feelings or not let them see or hold him. We made them because it gets him into a routine, and us...which is IMPORTANT.

Aidyn NEVER cries; we count our blessings daily! He only cries if he wakes up hungry or has a dirty diaper. We usually change him before we feed him and again afterwards...not because we are anal - because he fills it up that quickly, ha. But if he isn't hungry, he sometimes won't even cry while we change him. He also eats every 3hrs, like clock work. I started this the day we came home from the hospital. At night we don't set an alarm...we let him sleep until he wakes up on his own - which is almost always every 3hrs. A few times he has slept 4hrs and then once he slept 5hrs and another time 6hrs. On those nights I woke up feeling so refreshed like I'd slept for days, haha. Compared to 2hrs at a time, I guess I had. :)

I love him dearly and have grown to love my husband, Ben, even more as I watch him with Aidyn each day. He is totally in love and I think he would say surprised at how quickly he jumped in to help and be an awesome daddy. I always knew single parents had it hard, but I never REALLY KNEW until now. I am constantly telling Ben how thankful I am for his help because I COULD NOT do it without him...or atleast it wouldn't be easy.

I am glad things worked out the way they did, even with my anal OCD of planning and being in control, haha. I do not want to wish time away, yet I cannot wait to see how he grows and becomes a little person of his own.