Tired...

Being a mom is GREAT! However, the past week or so has been very tiresome and I'm finding myself more and more "tired" of different things.

So, after watching the WONDERFUL Oprah episode on Monday entitled "Moms' Secret Truths"...I've decided to just be upfront about some of my feelings. I know that for some people, they will agree or relate to some of the things I'm tired of. For others, you may think I'm awful...but here are my "secret truths".

If you didn't get to see that Oprah episode, you really missed a good one, seriously. Ben refers to Oprah is the "anti-christ", haha...but even he watched it with me when he got home from school. And (I thought about not saying this, but I'm going to)...if you aren't a mom, please don't judge my "truths". Some things are a lot harder than they seem.

It is hard to believe that Aidyn will be 11 weeks old tomorrow! Wow, how time flies! And in these 11 weeks I have grown tired of...

1. Wearing Nursing Bras
2. Being back down to my pre-prego weight, but because of the ever so lovely "changes" to more than just one body part, still not being able to wear my pre-prego clothes
3. Leaking (Ladies, you know what I mean)
4. Aidyn screaming like crazy and not being able to make him feel better no matter what Ben or I may try.
5. Pumping every 3 hours, or at all for that matter -- I am all for breastmilk, but pumping AND feeding is exhausting, which is why we are currently working on switching to formula
6. People looking at me like I'm crazy or a horrible mom when I tell them I LOVE my job and am actually looking forward to returning to work in August.
7. Not getting more than 3-4 hrs of sleep at one time
8. Aidyn only eating half his bottle (if you burp him then) and not wanting the rest...until an hour later.
9. Being home ALLLLLL day, waiting and looking forward to Ben coming home, only to realize that he will be of some help when he gets home at 6pm...but he still must get papers graded, football materials prepared, and work on his own school assignments for his Saturday classes
10. Not having Aidyn on a schedule...as much as we've tried. This makes planning for lunches, events, visits, etc. hard since there's no telling (until the morning of) when Aidyn will eat next


Now...on a brighter note, I'm also going to tell you the things I've grown to love over the past 11 weeks. I love...

1. That breasfeeding (or pumping) has atleast gotten my weight, if not my "shape", back down to the pre-prego numbers without any "work" being necessary. The work is going to be needed though, unfortunately. :)
2. Changing Aidyn's diapers (weird I know) because while I do, we "talk". He loves to just coo and aww, and make the sweetest noises while I talk to him and he just smiles and takes it all in. Precious!
3. Watching Ben and Aidyn together, or listening to them from another room. I seem to fall in love with Ben all over again each time.
4. Watching Aidyn relax and enjoy his baths...he LOVES being in the water!
5. New friends I have gained just by becoming a mom and the support we are all able to give each other.
6. Seeing Aidyn's grandparents' and great-grandparents' faces light up just by looking at him whether it be while holding him or from across the room.
7. Observing Aidyn as he learns more and more about his environment and himself. I am fascinated by the way he "studies" his rattling toys that we hang on his play mat as he thinks about how he got them to rattle in the first place and what needs to be done to make it happen again.
8. That I can be across the room with someone else holding Aidyn or talking to him, but the moment he hears me talking...he starts turning his head to figure out where I am. Too sweet!

I am not wishing time away by any means, but I am looking forward to watching Aidyn grow and become the sweet, little man he is going to be. :)